A scrapbooking haiku

Scrapbooking is fun
But I might drown in supplies
I hope I don't die

My valentine for Mr. Buzzkill

I made this valentine for my boyfriend, even though he can be a huge buzzkill of chlamydia proportions.  I don't understand why he gets mad at me when I feed Princess Creamy Kitty pizza.  She likes it, but according to him it's going to "kill him."  What a histrionic drama king!  In all seriousness, he is a wonderful boyfriend who deserves much more than this valentine, as cute as it is.

So this little Valentine is for the Bo Bunny Blog's Card Challenge Tuesday.  The challenge is to create a card using candy!  I used all Bo Bunny papers, and I filled it with chocolate-covered peanuts, hence the "I'm nuts about you" sentiment and fussy-cut squirrel.  I put a little love note into the envelope.  Pretttttty cute!  It's also for the Design Dollies challenge to create a love-themed project.

At least it's done...

You guys know I love my scrapbooking creations, but I actually have to say that I think the above page is kind of ugly.  It's just not me.  It's for the ACOT contest to use a newspaper-themed title.  I like this aspect of it.  My journaling reads like a news article, and I think that's pretty cool.  But otherwise, I kind of hate it.  The colors aren't me, and that floral print reminds me of one of my grandma's polyester tops.  Oh well.  It's done, and that memory is captured.  It's not like anyone is going to care ten years from now.  Hell, nobody but me cares now.  Anyway, this is also for Scrapbook & Cards Today Project 12 January sketch challenge, the Blademaster challenge at Challenge Masters, and the Our Bright Stars and Us challenge to use cream, the word "about," and upcycle something (I used buttons from an old shirt) .  It was inspired by the Nerdy Victorious Scrapbookers collage.  Oh, and last but not least, this is for the Harmonie blog challenge to create a layout with 3 or more photos.

And while we're discussing layouts I'm not particularly fond of...  Here's one I made for the Sketches in Thyme sketch challenge.  I think the busy, floral background was a mistake.  But props to me for busting out the Jolees-style cooking stickers!  I don't care if they're old-fashioned, I think they are cute.  This is also for the ad inspiration challenge at ACOT.

Award winner for most clever title? ME for "This Blows!"

This layout is for lots of stuff.  First, it's for the Imaginisce blog challenge to use the above picture as inspiration.  The sweet treats made me think of one of my favorite nicknames for Princess, "Cupcake."  You had to use all three of the colors, so even though there is no yellow in the supplies I used, the photo has yellow walls in it.  Second, this is for the Mission to Create challenge to use the sketch above, lace, mist, and pastels.  I used the white smooch mist, which you can see in the picture with the closeup of the banner.  My new crop "friend" said it looked like snot.  But she also calls Glue Dots "Glue Darts," so what does she know?  Third, this is for the ScrapFIT challenge to scrap about a dream.  I hope the people who read the journaling on this realize I was aiming for a splash of tongue-in-cheekiness.  Otherwise, someone's gonna call the loony bin, and you won't hear from me for awhile because I hear it's hard to blog whilst wearing a straight jacket.  Fourth, this is for the Paper Variety challenge to use a cupcake.  I painted Maya Road chipboard and then added some glitter sprinkes.  This is also for the color challenge at Challenge Masters.

I LOVE the title of this one.  It's about the time my "bestie" Stephanie convinced me to go into one of those hurricane machines.  The pictures are priceless; I look more troubled as you go from left to right.  This was inspired by Julie Dudley's layout at Scrap Jacked.  I love how she split her die cut paper in half to frame her photo.   





This took me 8 hours to make.

Ok, so it didn't really take me that long, but that's how it felt.  Have you ever stitched using metallic floss?  How about that cheap metallic floss that comes in those big value packs of floss marketed to kids?  Anyway, this is for the My Mind's Eye blog sketch contest.  I basically did a mirror image of the original sketch and used a big snowflake instead of the circle. You had to use the theme, "Love everything about..."  I titled this "I love everything about this bundled up baby" and journaled about how cute C is in her winter wear with her pink cheeks and nose!  It's also for the Challenge Master's contest to use MME and Coredinations.  I pop-dotted the die-cuts and topped them with brads.  I added a hidden journaling tag and outlined the whole layout in silver paint pen.  I actually think it was worth those 8 hours!

In other news, I invented something I want to get patented, but I don't know how to go about doing so.  I'm not telling anyone the details because I don't want them to steal my awesome idea.  I actually invented shoes that light up when you walk when I was in third grade, but my mother said it was a stupid idea, so I gave it up.  And we know how that ended.  You see light up shoes on every damn kid between the ages of 2 and 10.  If I had followed up on that invention, I'd be doing brunch with the heiress to the Q-Tip fortune this weekend instead of combining 4 dinners worth of leftovers into one meal.  And guess what, as good as my chili tastes, it does NOT pair well with pea salad.

Am I really a grown-up?

This morning, I couldn't find my cell phone, and I realized that I had no way to check the time unless I turned on my computer.  This is not because I don't have clocks.  I have three.  It's just that one of them doesn't have batteries (I just like the way it looks on my wall), one of them is broken, and the other one is ticking but the second hand just kind of bounces up and down.  That last one is a Hello Kitty clock.  This sad state of affairs made me question the fact that I'm pushing 30 years-old.  Seriously, don't grown-ups have working clocks?  And then I started thinking about the fact that I've eaten Apples Jacks for dinner the last four nights in a row.  And the "3" key on my computer keyboard is wonky because there is a huge crumb lodged beneath it.  The same goes for the "Delete" key.  And I've been wearing the same pair of contact lenses for 6 months, even though they are the kind you're only supposed to wear for a month.  And I wear a koala hat and pink puffy coat.  And I steal my Internet connection from my neighbor.  And I still think farts and jokes about them are funny.  And I sleep on half of my bed because the other half is covered in scrapbooking supplies.  And I haven't cleaned my microwave in 2 years.  And, this one is really depressing, I've been sitting on an unfinished dissertation for close to two years.  Yes, I'm no closer to that PhD than I was two years ago.  Aren't adults supposed to be more "together?"  My lord, my irresponsibility is crippling.  It's so depressing that it makes me want to eat some more Apple Jacks, but I'm out of milk.  Yes, I forget to get milk more than I remember to get milk...

I'd give an arm and a leg. No, just an arm.

I've been thinking recently about the uselessness of my left arm.  My left arm is like sesame seeds on hamburger buns.  Both could disappear, and I wouldn't even notice.  My right arm, on the other hand, well, that's my money maker!  It's the arm I use to carry the kidlet and chop vegetables and scrapbook and pick my nose.  Granted, my superior aptitude at all of those things is also due to the work done by my right hand and the fingers on said hand.  Sometimes, when I stand naked in front of a mirror, I expect my right arm to be all big and buff like Popeye's and my left arm to look like Kate Moss's circa 1995.  But surprisingly, they both look pretty similar. 

So anyway, I cropped last week with the usual gang.  As usual, Stephanie picked me up from the train station and drove me to Memory Lane.  She only hit me twice this time, but she has taken to kicking me in the shins.  I know I should stand up for myself, but I can't crop without her transporting me to and fro.  I guess it's just the price I have to pay for my craft.