Am I really a grown-up?

This morning, I couldn't find my cell phone, and I realized that I had no way to check the time unless I turned on my computer.  This is not because I don't have clocks.  I have three.  It's just that one of them doesn't have batteries (I just like the way it looks on my wall), one of them is broken, and the other one is ticking but the second hand just kind of bounces up and down.  That last one is a Hello Kitty clock.  This sad state of affairs made me question the fact that I'm pushing 30 years-old.  Seriously, don't grown-ups have working clocks?  And then I started thinking about the fact that I've eaten Apples Jacks for dinner the last four nights in a row.  And the "3" key on my computer keyboard is wonky because there is a huge crumb lodged beneath it.  The same goes for the "Delete" key.  And I've been wearing the same pair of contact lenses for 6 months, even though they are the kind you're only supposed to wear for a month.  And I wear a koala hat and pink puffy coat.  And I steal my Internet connection from my neighbor.  And I still think farts and jokes about them are funny.  And I sleep on half of my bed because the other half is covered in scrapbooking supplies.  And I haven't cleaned my microwave in 2 years.  And, this one is really depressing, I've been sitting on an unfinished dissertation for close to two years.  Yes, I'm no closer to that PhD than I was two years ago.  Aren't adults supposed to be more "together?"  My lord, my irresponsibility is crippling.  It's so depressing that it makes me want to eat some more Apple Jacks, but I'm out of milk.  Yes, I forget to get milk more than I remember to get milk...