Aloe Vera plants and I'm a moron

Apparenly my blog has been broken for a month, and I only figured it out until now!  People have been getting error messages when they try to leave me comments, and this is most likely due to the fact that I'm using a third-party template.  I suppose I should have figured out that something was amiss when I went from having like eight comments on each of my posts to zero.  But, well, I did have to repeat first grade.  Thanks to Dawn over at Sketches in Thyme for letting me know via email.  And all the rest of my loyal readers who did not infrom me of this issue (all two of you) are bad people.  The kind of bad people who go to hell. 

Did you know that you don't have to water aloe vera plants?  Well, I haven't watered mine in six months, and it's still a lean, green, sunburn-fightin' machine! 

I can't believe people trust me with their children.

Another ugly layout... And a cool one

Here's a layout that I made that I kind of hate.  I made it for the challenge to use a monochromatic pink color scheme with splashes of yellow.  But I missed another deadline...  Anyway, I made it using a sketch from The Scrappiest. 

And I kind of like this one even though I made it using realllly old product!  I used this sketch from Handmade by Suzanne.  I'm also entering this page in the open contest at Sketches in Thyme and the one word challenge at Challenge Masters ("lucky"). I was inspired to do this layout after seeing Natalie's layout at Lucky Girl Crafts.  She used a black, red, and cream color scheme and decorative tabs, and the topic of her layout is a date night!  I duplicated all of those things on my page.  The limited color scheme was a challenge for me, but as I said, I'm quite fond of this page for some reason. 

Clumsily ripped blue jeans = Scrapbook embellishment!

About a year ago, I went to a crop with my friend, Christy, and we were some of the first people to arrive.  Christy is very picky about where she sits when we crop at this store, and there are two other women who crop at MLPA that are just as willing to fight to the death for goods seats as she is.  On this particular day, urged by Christy, I ran for the door, my scrapbook totes swinging in the wind, as fast as I could.  Well, the next thing I know, I'm flying through the air like a skinny-assed version of the Goodyear blimp, and my stash of My Little Shoebox mini letter stickers are fanned out on the concrete like a deck of playing cards held by a drunk frat boy in Las Vegas.  My jeans ripped.  My favorite pair, no less, and I was bleeding from knees and palms.  But as Christy remembers, "She just got back up and kept on running!"  And guess what?  We got the good seats. 

So, that was the end of that pair of pants.  Or so I thought!  Inspired by the challenge at Let's Get Shabby to embellish a page with denim and lace (I used lace transparencies), I made a flower of them!  And then I realized 5 minutes ago that I missed the deadline.  Damn.  Anyway, this was inspired by Lisa Harrolle's cute doggie layout at XOXO.  It's also for this month's challenge at Kraft it Up, Mission 38 at Mission to Create, and I used the March sketch at Crafty Sketches. 

A SOmber layout

I made this first layout about my sister's dog, Sarah.  My mother and sister are talking about putting her to sleep this week, and I wrote about how hard it's going to be on my family.  It's for several challenges.  First, it's for the Scrapbookers Annonymous challenge to use at least 7 different types of flowers.  I used paper, plastic, fabric, felt, chipboard, and button flowers along with cardstock sticker flowers.  This is also for the sketch challenges at Blue Moom Scrapbooking and Sassy Lil' Sketches.  Blue Moon Scrapbooking is giving away a $40 gift card to their store!  This is also for the Scrap the Girls challenge to use one of the given quotes by Kobi Yamada.    I'm submitting this to the open challenge at Sketches in Thyme.  Last, this is for the stash challenge at Challenge Masters. 

And here is my Project 12 layout for February and for the open challenge at Sketches in Thyme.

Poppy seeds = POOPY seeds

I have a poppy seed stuck in my tooth, and it is slowly but surely driving me mad.  Who was the wiseguy who decided to put poppy seeds in lemon muffins?  You can't even really taste them.  In fact, if they taste like anything, they taste like dirt.  Yes, I know what dirt tastes like because my little sister used to make me eat it (along with grass, but that's a story for another day).  And if you were to eat a lemon poppy seed muffin blindfolded, the only way that you'd know it had contained poppy seeds would be the inevitable senstation of something lodged in your molar.  Sometimes, I think the only thing keeping me from self-actualization is the presence of poppy seeds in my life.

Let's Do Lunch

 I completed this layout for the My Mind's Eye blog challenge to use the given sketch and use the theme, "Celebrate today."  I thought that theme would be perfect for these pictures of my lunches with Caroline.  We eat lunch out every Wednesday, and it's one of those little moments that I think makes life worth living.  The journaling says, "I love lunching and brunching with Caroline.  She's the most adorable lunch date! She sits in her highchair and smiles, laughs, and babbles as she snacks on my food. She will even dance to the music on the radio.  People always say that she's so well-behaved and sweet!  It's little moments like these that help me celebrate today!"  This is also for the Punky Scraps challenge to use distressing (I inked), flowers (I made a homemade flower and there's a flower on the tab), sparkles (glittery thickers), and misting (I misted the doillies).  Additionally, this is for the March contest at Ally Scraps and the contest to make a glittery and glammy layout at ScrapFit.

Musings on the Oscars and Lady Gaga's Muffin

I admit that I didn't watch ALL of the Oscars this year.  Like your average geriatric, I'm in bed by 9:00 most nights.  Anyway, what struck me the most about the whole event was how average James Franco looked.  I thought he was hot or something.  And then, after a google search, I realized that he's like a real-life Seinfeld episode - hot half  of the time, not so hot the other half of the time.  Take a look:

Hot.

Not so hot.

Yes, please.

NO THANK YOU.

On the other hand, I had always found Colin Firth pasty and doughy.  You know, rather British-looking.  But maybe British-looking isn't so bad.  I do like floppy hair. 

On to Lady Gaga.  This past weekend, while cropping with friends, I learned that there are people in the world who DISLIKE Gaga.  What?!  How could this be?  It was as if someone had told me that they didn't like breathing so much.  And then  I got to thinking of all of the reasons I pray at the alter of Gaga.  The first song I heard of Gaga's was "Just Dance," and I fell in love then.  It remains my favorite.  No other song reflects how you feel when it's 1:00 AM on a dancefloor better.  I mean, your clothes are stuck to your body from all of the sweat (from you and probably some other people, too), your body is aching, you're parched, and your ears are ringing from the music.  But damnit, your body keeps contorting, your back keeps arching, and your head keeps slinging your hair all over the club like a duck shaking it's body off after a swim in a pond.  And it feels good.  Even as the lights are about to come on, that last drop to the floor, punctuated with a lightning-fast slap to your own ass feels like magic.  And Lady Gaga gets it. 

The woman is also a poet:

I won't tell you that I love you

Kiss or hug you

Cause I'm bluffin with my muffin

I'm not lying I'm just stunnin with my love-glue-gunning

These are my favorite lyrics of hers.  The profundity brings tears to my eyes.  And to the 2 people that will probably read this post (Hi, Stephanie!), check out the song "Teeth."